“Thank you, sir. It is an honor to be named your ‘‘Conservative of the Year.’” Said Sarah Palin as she chiseled down the rough edges on her hooves as HUMAN EVENTS Political Editor John Gizzi sat down to interview her in the third corner of Hell she now lives in.
The Parental Transfiguration.
At some point, in all of our lives, weather we like it or not the inevitable happens: We turn into our parents. Weather it be in appearance, attitude, thought process, political views, the way we put on our depends, no matter the method it always happens.
10 Goals for 2009
So undeniably 2008 SUCKED ASS. I don’t know many people who have enjoyed watching Bush make a total ass out of himself during his final year, the economy falling to shit, or you choice of all the other bullshit that happened this year. Even though I was entertained I could have totally done without ever knowing there was a woman named Sarah Palin or a woman named John McCain for that matter. When it comes down to it they are both pure evil and there was a slight chance they could have been running our country in a few weeks.
Why most white trash should be sterilized…
In the small community of Holland Township two bizarre, strange people, Heath and Deborah Campbell, decided to reproduce. Even though this EXACTLY demonstrates why some people should be sterilized, that isn’t my point. My point is these two sick fuckers are child abusers even if they never touched their kids in the pants or otherwise laid a hand on them.
Who throws a shoe??
Today a man threw a shoe at the fading president. Actually he threw two. Everybody’s heard about it, I’m not going to sit here and rehash the entire event. The thing that did catch me was Ol Dub-Yah said afterwards “I don’t know what his beef is.” Now if there’s nothing I hate more its when the freakin old white man president tries to use that hippity hop language. He’s not hip. He’s not cool. And he should know EXACTLY what the hell this Iraqi man’s beef be! You invaded his country, asshole! A decision you even now say was […]
Shame on the Makahs!!!
Just now my job dropped. Imagine that. But this time I was watching a show on IONlife tv network and they were focusing on the Makah Native American tribe and why they feel it’s unfair that they’re not aloud to whale anymore. They feel that the experience of the hunt will keep their kids from fulfilling the whole drunken Indian with a meth lab stereotype that so many tribes are falling into now – but is this really all they can see? We’s runnin outta WHALES people! Sure, that’s the way to keep your kids off drugs. Let them kill […]
The rumors of my death…
For a couple days there they didn’t seen that far from the truth! I haven’t blogged in the past week or so because I’ve had the most insane stomach flu-like thing and it hasn’t been fun. I think I’m actually on the upswing now, I can do things besides lay in the fetal position trying to decide if I’m hot or cold. And puke. Here’s something to keep you busy until I’m back again. Redneck Playstation
Dogs Offended…
Dogs, even though they roll around in poop and chew on their asses for hours on end, really don’t like it when humans are weird. They always have some kind of reaction when we do things like sneeze or dance or even sing to them. Sometimes they get excited, sometimes they get worried, but there’s always a reaction none the less. The big junkyard dog that lives with me, Junior, doesn’t like it when I take naps. If I sleep during the day he will jump up on my bed and just stare at me like he’s checking to see […]
Men Left to their Own Devices…
After nearly a year of interacting with other guys on a “single” level I have pretty much come to the conclusion that gay guys for the most part are just DUMB. It can’t be because of the gayness, I thought, because I’m gay. Straight men are dumb too. So what is it that makes men such utter retards when left to our own devices? A friend of mine is a nurse who documents things removed from people’s bodies. Some of his most interesting stories are about things which had been inserted into various… places, and they’re mostly from men. What […]
Thanksgiving with the Thyme Family
Yesterday I joined the rest of my brood to feast on a large bird carcass and various other things that grow from the ground. Every year is a little different, but my family has now evolved beyond the fighting, crying fits that used to be Thyme family holidays. We have a good time together now but of course it wasn’t without its controversy… This year the first big stink was about this upcoming Christmas. My mom proposed that we start a “Chinese Christmas” however racially sound that may be… I think white elephant gift exchange is a more PC term… […]