I usually try to stay away from touching, soft subjects on DUNDERBRAIN, for no other reason than that isn’t what the DUNDERBRAIN is about. However things can’t always be cynical and sarcastic, or fabulous and funny. Sometimes they’re just real. Something real that I’ve had to come to terms with in the past couple days is my life isn’t ordinary. I’ve never been the average, run of the mill Joe and I’m happy with that. However recently I met someone that was. My friend told me that if I want to find a love that’s satisfying I’m going to have […]
Breaking up is a PR nightmare…
Yup, that’s right kids. The DUNDERBRAIN got DUNDERDUMPED. I won’t go into the sappy details of it any further than instead of coffee this morning I got the feared “we need to talk… alone” email. Really, what else could that mean? So I let myself feel for approximately 15 minutes then I went back to my usual routine of clubbing baby seals and eating little girls alive. After that, breaking up sucks on your social life. When you’re a couple you start doing couple things, making appearances together, taking pictures together, commenting on each other’s social networks, all that crap […]
TONEicons
The internet is a bitchy, bitchy place. Every day something is misconstrued, misunderstood, mistaken, and misused. The worst troublemaker on the internet is SARCASM. Nobody gets sarcasm online AT ALL. Take this statement for example: Now that Sarah Pallin, she’d make a great president. Compare it to this statement: Now that Sarah Pallin, she’d make a great president. What’s the difference? One was said with sarcasm, I’ll let you figure out which one. There needs to be a system for deciphering this, when I post a sarcastic status update on facebook or a tongue in cheek tweet on Twatter I […]
MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY
I love to google. One could say I’m a googlin fool. My current lifestyle doesn’t define time by “days of the week” so mondays really mean little to me besides my friends can’t come out to play during the day, but I hear it can really get people down. So here’s some stuff that cheered me up, maybe it’ll turn your monday frown upside down as well. GOBBLER TOYS The toys on here are absolutely high-larious. They remind me of the old Garbage Pail Kids from the 80’s. I think they tried to bring them back a few years ago […]
ASK DUNDERBRAIN! Dumbass neighbors…
Dear DUNDERBRAIN!, My neighbour has recently converted her attic into a bedroom, with a flat roof. In a seaside town. She now gets woken up by seagulls dancing on her roof and staring through her veluxe window. Apparently the seagulls are walking over from my chimney, where they (allegedly) roost. Do I cough up the money she wants from me to “seagull-proof” our roofs, or do I start throwing bread and fish onto her roof? Advice would be appreciated. Sincerely, Throwing Money to the Birds Dear Dundercat, OH you have one of THOSE neighbors, THOSE being people that do incredibly […]
White Dog Turds…
Martin writes: In the 1960s and 70s dog poo was white. Why? Dear Martin, When you first wrote this to me I thought you were putting me on. Every day I take my dogs outside and when they do their business I take a plastic bag and pick it up and their ugly little turds are always brown, so of course I wrote back asking what the eff you were talking about for which you replied something starting with “Ah, perhaps you’re too young”. Well turds are turds, I thought, they didn’t just invent brown turds when I came along […]
Ask DUNDERBRAIN! oh no, religion…
Martin asks: Are the views of the christian right christian? Dear Martin, WHOAH! Easy – you’re getting Ask DUNDERBRAIN! started with a bang. This is a big one to chew, ok – BREATHE – here we go… A year ago I wrote a blog called “The Death of the Christian Right” right after Obama was elected. Everyone had their own hopes for the new change being issued in with a president boasting change. Now that I look back on it Obama was kinda like Santa to a lot of us. Everyone had this idea of what his presidency would bring. […]
UK’s Favorite DUNDERBRAIN!s from 2009
Thanks Martin for sending in the UK’s favorite blogs from 2009! You’re like the DUNDERBRAIN! correspondent for the UK. #5 Why is SEX just not enough? #4 Forces – Blind Freewriting #3 Does This Not Skeeve Anyone Else Out? #2 Sarah Pallin Makes Me Scared for America. #1 Personal Issues, Religion, and Politics