Where are these children’s owners???

So the other day when I was at the Laundromat as I usually am several times a week a little girl came toddling up to me.  Kids that I don’t know make me nervous because really people don’t know how to discipline their children.  I mean what would happen if she came up and snatched my phone and threw it across the room?  It’s not out of the realm of possibilities, people don’t teach their children boundries or personal space anymore.  Anyway, they make me nervous.

So this kid is toddling around, and she was a very odd looking child to boot.  She had more hair than any toddler I’ve ever seen and it was styled kinda like an old lady, not just messy from a nap but like she went to the beauty shop a few days ago and actually had product in it.  Generally my policy with children I don’t know is not to pay attention to them.  They’re like evil spirits, if you pay attention to them once they won’t leave you alone, and since you paid attention to them once their parents think you’re fair game.  Instead of saying “oh my kid is probably bugging that guy” they say “aww, look he made a friend!” and act like they think it’s cute when really they’re trying to milk their kid being diverted for all it’s worth.  Tthe truth is pretty much the only people who aren’t annoyed by your children bothering them are old ladies.

I ignored her and when I looked back she was gone.  I also noticed that myself and this little girl were the only ones in the Laundromat.  Where was this kid’s mom?  Who owns this child?  A few minutes later some skuzzy guy walks in and asks the attendant if there was a little girl in there and acted like she had just gotten away but I knew he had forgotten her there, he was doing laundry.  So I blew it off, I could have gotten all riled up and called CPS but the guy would have been gone by the time anything happened so like a good American I turned a cold shoulder.

A few minutes later I got up to change my laundry and saw the man and little girl walking out the door. She looked up at me as they exited and I noticed the back of her pants were all covered with doodie stains which really made me sad.  OF COURSE it was a man that was watching her, men (mostly of certain social class) avoid diapers like the plague but I ain’t afraid of nasty.  However If I would have snagged this kid, threw her on a folding table, and changed her diaper myself I would go to jail for child molestation or something screwed up and have to register with the state every few months but this asshole that ISN’T changing her diaper walks the streets freely.

Stray kids are everywhere though, in the grocery store, the Laundromat, government offices, WAL-MART…. I always just want to snap my finger real had at them and say “CALM THE EFF DOWN!” and then punch their parent straight in the jaw.  I take care of my dogs, I don’t let them roam the streets or run free.  If I did they’d get caught by the dog catcher and taken to the pound.  If there was a kid catcher though I think I lot of parents would let them get picked up just because they don’t know how to deal with their children in the first place.  I know my brother’s tighty whiteys would get sucked right up into his ass for me saying this but I STILL THINK RANDOM STERILIZATION ISN’T THAT BAD OF AN IDEA.  Spend an afternoon at the drivers license office and tell me you don’t agree.

And you know I have to throw in that a person will complain about a kid throwing a fit in the grocery store but when the mom yanks him up off the floor by his arm and gives him a good swift swat that shuts him up, that same person will cry child abuse.  I got spanked when I was a kid and I listened to my mom… Just sayin…